Friday, June 14, 2013

Captain's Log

I wrote this over the past two days at work:

Earth Date 2013.06.13: Captain’s Log: Here follows the adventures of Jonathan Wheeler and the automobile Buick LeSabre.

9:30 Local Time (LT) – Have landed on the planet Biola in the La Mirada sector of the galaxy California. The population appears sparser than the last time I was here.  I wonder what has happened to the people. Perhaps a plague has struck since last I was here. Their Facilities continent, while accessible, is dark and empty. While filled with foreboding, I press forward.
9:40 (LT) – They are all gone. The box containing keys to local buildings and non-stellar transports appears to have been looted by the local populace. I am at a loss; perhaps I will borrow the keys of a local prefect.
10:00 (LT) – Having obtained keys, I proceeded to the designated transport. They do not work. I then obtained a second set; they also do not work. In anger and frustration, I contemplate going home.
10:30 (LT) – While staying, I remembered that an oracle spoke about an upcoming famine of light for the next season of this planet. While only one local youth was at the market, I paid fair price for what I bought. I will not be starved of light this next season.
10:50 (LT) – Have finally obtained transport. Had to jury-rig multiple sets of keys, but finally I can leave the Facilities continent.
11:08 (LT) – Have finally arrived at the designated work outpost, Hope. Hopefully, I will be busy the rest of the day. Thank goodness I brought food.
13:10 (LT) – Have discovered transport 25 sitting in its parking spot, plugged in. Meanwhile a youth working at the Horton prefecture has possession of transport 24. An icy wrath envelops me.
17:45 (LT) – Mission planet side terminated early. I shall be back again on the next day.

Earth Date 2013.06.14: Captain’s Log: Here follows the adventures of Jonathan Wheeler and the automobile Buick LeSabre.

9:33 (LT) – Upon arrival planet side, was able to swiftly obtain the keys of a prefect and the rights to transport 24. Still no one here, but the day has started better than yesterday.
9:38 (LT) – Thou hast got to be sh*tting me. Transport 24 is broken; its front right propulsion device devoid of its usual gaseous substance rendering it useless. I shall have to obtain other transportation.
9:43 (LT) – It appears that all of the local prefects keep the keys to their transportation vehicles with them instead of returning them to security box. With no transport, it appears I will have to leg it across the planet.
9:55 (LT) – After arriving at the Alpha prefecture, I discovered I did not take my communicator with me. So there is no hope of communication with the outside world. Unfortunately I did not brign food with me today.
10:11 (LT) – Found a penny and picked it up. Still no luck.
10:14 (LT) – Found a bag of Hawaiian Hurricane Popcorn. No listed expiration date. Do I trust the penny?
10:58 (LT) – Transportation? Heh! Access to buildings? Heh! A student work craves not these things.
11:02 (LT) – For over a thousand months, student workers were the guardians of lighting and wall repair. Until the dark times. Until Obamacare.
11:06 (LT) – Here is your father’s T8 light bulb. Not as clumsy or as random as a candle. An elegant light, for a more civilized age.
11:25 (LT) – With administrators and prefects gone, I have done my best to stimulate the economy these past two days, to the tune of over a thousand local credits worth of goods. I wonder: will I be counted a hero, or will I have worked long enough to see myself become the villain?
12:20 (LT) – An old light bulb decided it didn’t want to live anymore and so jumped from a high place onto a hard place. Did it right in front of me too. Still in shock. Its going to take a while to clean the place up. I have cordoned off the area, probably for the whole weekend. It looks like I still have bits of him on me.
12:45 (LT) – Yep. Had a bit of him in my hair.
13:35 (LT) – At last work is over and I can go home. I weep tears of joy.

13:42 (LT) – Wished the last female on the planet to “Have a good weekend.” She responded with a variation of the same. Smooth. O.o Also, found another penny outside my shop; picked it up. It’s the weekend. Must have worked.

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